Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Dear Self...


You are about to undertake a new chapter in life! You are about to start an adventure! While all adventures have their exciting moments, they also have their trying times. So, here are some tips and tricks to make your journey more comfortable, happy, and stress-free:


There are things you must to for yourself every single day. Yes, it is important to wash the diapers, do the dishes, and complete schoolwork, but there are other things as well- things that tend to get pushed aside, neglected, or cut short when there is a lot going on. Like...

  • Take a shower or bath, every single day, not necessarily to be clean, but to relax. 
  • Take at least 10 minutes on your appearance each day, something as simple as tinted moisturizer and lip gloss can really boost your mood and make you feel more human.
  • Read. Yes, you have 1,500 unique books to read for homeschool. Yes, you have over a thousand pages you will read for your semester at the U. But take the time to read something fun, something nice, something mindless- something just for you. Maybe try Twilight, Harry Potter, or the Wizard of Oz books. Whatever it is, keep it simple and fun- the goal is to unwind.
  • Study your scriptures, every single day, multiple times per day. One of your goals is to read the entire Bible this year- you can do it! You also co-lead your Good Morning Girls group. You also teach Primary. Each of these things has brought you blessings, and will continue to bless you if you would just start and finish your day in God's word. ALLOW the peace to come!
  • Make sure you are drinking enough, and eating healthy foods. Do not allow yourself to lose energy because of junk you don't want or need anyway.
  • Move your body, every day. You are in a group for this- hold yourself accountable, and allow the group to help you. Start simply- and work your way up. Don't do it to lose weight, do it to relieve tension and stress, and make yourself stronger.
  • Light a candle, play soothing music, and pray for peace in your home.
  • Attend Church weekly, and go to as many events as possible.
For your Family:
  • Skype with Kurt every day- be sure he sees every single child, every single day!
  • Journal or blog every day, be sure to take pictures so Kurt can stay involved.
  • Send Kurt care packages- he needs them!
  • Attend playgroups, go out with friends, meet people- get out of the house.
  • Go to the library at least 1x a week.
  • Budget, and live within your means- remember: the sooner you hit your financial goal, the sooner you get to be with Kurt in Utah!
  • Menu plan- and use freezer meals, crock-pot meals, and eat your leftovers!
  • Play week 1 by ear, but then create a schedule, stick to it within reason.
  • FLY with the FLYlady and never worry about housework. Have the kids do their share!
If things get hard:
  • Take a walk. Change of scenery may do some good. Bonus points if there is sunshine!
  • Take a nap. Sometimes rest can make all the difference!
  • Call a friend. Many friends have offered a friendly ear!
  • Write a letter. Maybe even draw a cartoon!
  • Snuggle the babies! Invite all the kids to crowd into your bed and read, talk, or watch a movie.
  • Declare the day a holiday. Take the whole day off, scrap the plans and do something else!
  • Pack something (or reorganize), and think about happy things while you work!
  • Look at pictures of Mexico and dream of your vacation- count down the days!
  • Ask for help: call a friend, relative, or sitter to come help.
  • Sign onto WoW/GroupMe/FB Messenger and chat briefly. 
  • Bake something. Bonus points if you make enough to share with someone!
  • Do some yoga. Take deep breaths. 
  • Call your loving husband (after office hours, if at all possible), ask him for "Kurt Power!" and a pep talk.
  • Open your "Blue Box" from your mom (Mom sent it for a day where you felt a little blue!).
  • Give service to another person or another family- it helps keep things in perspective. 
  • Take a day trip. (If things are really bad, plan a longer trip, and GO).
  • Paint, draw, color, or build something. 
  • Cry. Go to your room, shut your door, and cry. 
  • Play with the kids. Stop whatever chore you are doing, get on the ground and build some Legos.
  • Go onto Google and type in "funny cats" or "homeschooling cartoons" and browse images for a bit. Share them with the kids! (Panda Cheese commercials are always good for a laugh!)
  • Go into Netflix's comedy section and watch something funny together!
  • Listen to Dr. Laura, the 50's channel, or the 80's channel (because that one is Kurt's favorite!). Dance around together!
  • Re-read your Christmas cards from friends. Show the kids the pictures. 
  • Make some herbal tea, and cuddle up with a book for a bit. Alone time may be helpful.
  • Play a game! Board game, video game, computer game- get the kids together and play!
  • Go outside! **Briefly, if it is too cold for Fina.
  • Take some time to read your favorite blog writers. Good Morning Girls, Women Living Well, Sally Clarkson, The Better Mom- read and remember your goals!
Pray. Always. Continually. PRAY. This is a brief moment in your life, and just an instant in eternity- yes, this will be difficult, but it will only make you stronger. Every time you feel sorry for yourself, think about the women who live like this daily, while their husbands are fighting overseas. Every time you feel out of touch, remember the Pioneers who would often be separated from their mission-serving husbands. You are so lucky. You are so lucky to be able to attend another semester at the University. You are so lucky to be able to stay home with your favorite little people on earth. You are so lucky to have a vacation scheduled, booked, and paid for to look forward to. You are so lucky to live in a beautiful, warm, and safe home- surrounded (literally!) by loving family members who care deeply about your family. You are so lucky for your husband to have a job. You are so lucky to be on your way back to Utah, where you wanted to be! YOU ARE SO LUCKY. Count those blessings. When you feel low, try one of the suggestions above. If you are still feeling low, try another. If you feel pretty down- STOP what you are doing and grab your scriptures and your journal. Read your scriptures (or listen to them on CD if necessary! or watch a Conference talk if even CDs will not work out!) and then WRITE. Write 100 ways you are blessed. Then write your feelings. Finish your journal entry by writing a prayer to Heavenly Father, write it so you can see it. Pour your heart out to Him. Allow His peace to come! If things do not look up, talk to your Bishop. THIS WILL BE OKAY! This will be MORE THAN OKAY- this will be WONDERFUL!

Enjoy this chapter of your life, because these days will never come back! Enjoy your family, they are the loves of your life! 

Get ready for your move, and always remember to "Grow where you're planted!"

**Any other suggestions are welcome!


  1. Mellissa, what a great list! I know that you're intimidated, but believe me, you can do it! It is scary to have to be on your own for a while, but you will come out of it realizing just how much you are capable of doing! You are super woman! When you start feeling overwhelmed, remember that it is is only for a limited time. You can do anything for just a few months, and then you get your happy ending (which everyone strives for and you completely deserve! I am always just a phone call or text away, and I am happy to lend support and encouragement! Lots of love!

  2. this is great! I love your goals and your daily things to do. I love the one about being active, not to lose weight, but to feel good. So many people focus on unhealthy ways to lose weight, that they forget that working out is great for your mood and mental health! You are strong and I know you will handle this new chapter in your life with amazing strength. GO MELLISSA!