Saturday, October 23, 2010

Happy Anniversary!!!


Carter reads about one of his favorite things: volcanos!

Carter and Mommy play Thomas Trains at Barnes and Noble!

Harrison tells Kurt some of the things on his Christmas List!

Today was Kurt and my 6th anniversary! We are so happy for this! Things between us have never been better and we are so grateful that we worked through our roughest points!!!!! I was so lucky to have found Kurt. We really were made for one another. No one else can make me laugh like he can, cheer me like he can, and lift my spirits like he can. He is so amazing! I am SO lucky!!!!!!! (And he is SOOOOO handsome!!!!!! Did I mention that???)
Kurt and I have very similar priorities in life. Our faith, family, and home are all very important to us. Our faith has become increasingly important, and has been something that saw us through the worst of times. Our family is the most important thing on Earth. Our home is our sanctuary.
When Kurt and I first started dating we talked a lot. We talked about our thoughts on politics, religion, children, housekeeping, foods, even brand names. We talked about everything. I am so thankful for this, because it set us up for a good foundation of communication. More than communication, it helped us clear up a lot of the fog that many couples around us were in. We saw firsthand some of our closest friends have huge relationship problems over things like: number of children, religion, roles, and finances. What was so strange for us was that the couples confessed that they didn't honestly and openly discuss these things before marriage. Many of them, it seemed, were just excited to be "in love" and ready to play house- some of them even admitted to avoiding topics that may cause problems or lying to keep their partner interested! Kurt and I are thankful for our early talks, because it was then that we got our cards on the table and were open. Sure, things may have changed over the years, but because we talk often we still know where each of us stands. Kurt knew from the 2nd week of our courtship that I wanted the option to stay home if I had children. I knew from a few months in that religion was something Kurt felt was necessary. We both wanted kids, and both of us wanted more than 1. Our very first date we agreed that the stupidest reason for ending a marriage was because "I don't love you anymore," which helped us get through the time that we reallllly didn't feel very loving toward one another- we both had felt it was a dumb reason to destroy a family.

Do we expect the world to agree with us? NO WAY! We don't vaccinate, our familial roles are old fashioned, we are Republicans, we dressed up when we attended the last Star Wars movie, we don't watch TV shows, we taught our 18 month old babies to read with flash cards, we have full conversations with our cat, we love World of Warcraft, we regularly can be seen dancing together when there is no music around... we are unique! We are The Lyles!!!!

Kurt and I don't play house. Rather than go on a date today, we followed through on promises we made to our little 5 year old. Rather than buy new cars we are paying student loans. Rather than play computer games we watched a Veggie Tales movie with our kids and talked about how it is not nice to hit. Rather than plop the kids in front of our (totally awesome) TV, we encourage them to build trains and Lego cities- and freely offer them our help. Rather than watch ANY TV sitcoms, we spend extra time with the kids each night- brushing teeth, taking vitamins, washing hands and faces, finishing homework, reading each child a book of his choice, followed by family scripture study, talks about the kids' days, prayers, and affection.

Our children did not ask to come into this world, we brought them here, and we will not allow them to suffer because we are having bad days or have other interests. Do we have hobbies? Absolutely. However, our focus is on bettering ourselves and our homes. Have we had moments of selfishness? OF COURSE!!!! We are human!!!! However, our commitment to our children is so strong that these moments are short, and often occur when the kids are sleeping anyway. Do we take time for ourselves- yes! For example, I usually need a break after the boys go to bed, so I "clock out" and play some kind of little flash game for a half hour, just to unwind before I pick up the house. I also enjoy bubble baths and reading- all things that help me recharge so that I can be a more patient and loving person. These are not things that take away from my family, they are things that sharpen my saw.

I want my boys to grow up to become good men. I want them to learn from their father. I want them to see that families can be happy things, not things to be avoided or complained about. I want the kids to see, through our actions, that we love them and value them. I want our kids to see that everyone needs to help around the house, everyone needs to speak kind words, and everyone is important. I want our kids to know that they need to value their own wives and children, and that nothing shows this more than time. I want them to see their own children as blessings, and not burdens. I want them to respect themselves and their families. I want them to know unconditional love, so that they can offer that to their own children. I want them to get to know their children as individuals, and not accessories. These are things I want for my boys.

I am so thankful for my husband. I am so thankful for my children. I am so thankful for The Church. I am so thankful for my life!!!!!!!!!!! I really do have a wonderful life, and I know that my kids are benefiting from the work Kurt and I do. David O. McKay said it best, "No success can compensate for failure in the home." I am so thankful for my husband and for our agreement that our family comes first- and during the times when we couldn't stand each other, we still put the kids first, and it helped us remember what was really important.


  1. Beautiful post, Mellissa. Thank you so much for sharing. I agree with what you said about parenting and children. Thank you for the reminder of what is important. I hope the move goes smoothly for you!

  2. I wish you the best of luck in your move! I love your attitude towards your family. If only more people in this world saw children that way it'd be such a better place!

  3. Mellissa,
    Thanks for sharing & I agree with come first, as difficult as that can be sometimes. Perhaps you can stay in Reno for might not be living with Sean, but you'll be available to him.

  4. Thank you all for your amazing support! Brian has apologized and asked us to stay. We have come up with a code word that means we need to walk away and cool off- so hopefully we can avoid outbursts and heated arguments. I am so glad we get to stay here with Sean!